Heartbreaker: A Second Chance Rockstar Romance Read online

  I nodded, and a wave of goosebumps covered me as his hand cupped my cheek, and he leaned in, ever so slowly, ever so gentle. His lips brushed against mine.

  It was intoxicating, even though he had only made the lightest feather-touch of contact. I could taste the residue of the strawberries, sugar, and butter on him. The sweetness of the park and the sweat of the motorcycle ride were over. I leaned into the kiss, taking his bottom lip between my own, and let him know with the smallest scrape of my teeth and a gentle flick of my tongue that I was ready for more. The kiss became more passionate then, and Ash began to initiate signs of taking instead of giving. He pulled me against him with a hand on my hip and a smile in his eyes.

  “I have a feeling you’ve thought about this, princess,” he murmured against me. His hands roamed down my back, exploring my every crevice, outlined my curves with the gentleness of an angel but the intent of a devil.

  Oh, I had. Many times. But I had never dreamt that those thoughts might come slowly sliding inside of my silken pants, running along the seams of my underwear. God, I was wet. And I was definitely in trouble. There was no turning back now.

  “Ash,” I murmured against him as he rubbed his fingers along the folds on my labia.

  The thin lace fabric of my panties was the only thing separating his fingers from my bare skin. It did not stop him from feeling how turned-on I was.

  “Fuck, Lillian,” he breathed against me. “Baby doll, you’re so god-damned wet.”

  The heat rose back up to my face in spite of myself. I was a grown woman! I shouldn’t have been feeling embarrassed. I’d been in situations like this in the past; it wasn’t like I hadn’t messed around before. But god, nothing ever felt like this.

  “Ash, we’re in public.” I squirmed against him, but I didn’t part from his hand.

  I was deciding if I wanted him inside me, wondered if he could make me feel all sorts of ways I couldn’t even fathom. Or—if I wanted him out of there so that I might be left with some dignity.

  “Public?” Ash made a great show out of looking around. His grin as he turned back to me was so self-satisfied, and oh so sexy. He looked like the charismatic performer he was, off-stage and still so devilishly handsome. “I don’t see anyone around; do you?”

  He moved my panties aside then; his fingers searched for those sensitive parts of me, tweaking here and there, my face contorted in pleasure.

  “You like that, huh?” His voice was breathy again, sensual.

  I could only nod as the pressure built itself up again; the pleasure rumbled through my body like waves in an ocean storm. Then he was inside of me, his index finger wreaking havoc on my ability to process thoughts. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but the steady rhythm of him entering my body, then exiting for a moment to readjust, then he continued to rub against those sensitive parts of me, making me wetter than I already was.

  The sense of pleasure continued to rise, and I could not control myself. My breath was coming in fast, and my mouth was releasing unsolicited noises that sounded distant to me, animalistic in a way.

  “Do you enjoy being fingered in ‘public,’ princess?”

  I couldn’t respond: the pleasure was too intense, his fingers too deft and skillful.

  “Mmmm, I think you do. I’m enjoying those little noises you’re making; they’re so damn sexy.”

  I gasped as the pleasure reached its climax, and then everything that had built up inside me rushed through me like a storm—a natural disaster worthy of a nation-wide state of emergency—and then it released.

  Ash slowed then, stroking me gently before retracting his hand and pulling me closer to him, planting another kiss on my lips. Then he kissed the side of my neck and my forehead.

  “There’s plenty more where that came from,” he whispered. “And I’d love to show it all to you.”

  I nodded, still finding it a bit difficult to locate the words I needed. I didn’t know how to articulate exactly what I was feeling at that moment.

  “You could come back to my apartment with me,” he whispered against me, still tasting of strawberries.

  Something turned on then; a switch flipped. The pieces snapped into place, and I was suddenly remembering Sebastian and the night that I had gone back to his place. And ultimately, how confused my feelings were.

  Ash would mess with me more than just that. It was in his nature to toy with people, to play with their emotions. I couldn’t risk that happening to me. I couldn’t let myself go like that. I had a natural instinct to protect my feelings; they were my responsibility.

  “I’m, uhhhh, I’m sorry but I can’t—”

  Ash, clearly hearing the panic in my voice and seeing the flight response taking hold in my eyes, gently placed a finger over my lip to shush me.

  “Shhhh, it’s okay. Don’t apologize; you don’t have to come back with me. It’s only if you want to.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just—”

  “Just what?”

  There was a war raging within my mind now, and I knew Ash could see it.

  “Look, baby doll, I’m not going to pressure you into anything, but is there a reason you’re not coming, even though you clearly want to? You’ve got to talk to me.”

  “I have a lot of work to do tomorrow,” I said, but the words sounded weak, even to me.

  “Alright, if that’s what you say,” he replied, pulling away.

  I immediately missed his closeness, his warmth; but I couldn’t ask for it back, not now.

  “Shall I drive you home?”

  I nodded and followed him back to his motorcycle, wondering if I made the right choice.

  11. (Lillian)

  When I got home that night, Rebecca was already waiting for me. Coby was seated perkily on her lap, and she donned a pensive expression on her face.

  “Sebastian called me today,” she said. “He asked if anything was wrong, if you were okay; said you weren’t answering his texts.”

  I sighed and sat down on the couch next to her; my head was in my hands, and my heart was in my throat. “I’ve been avoiding it. You know, I’ve just been confused.”

  “About what? What happened between the two of you?”

  “We uh…I don’t know. We’re trying things again when I was at his place a few nights ago, and I don’t know how to feel.”

  Rebecca nodded, seeming like a wise sage at that moment, mulling the problem over. “Do you want to continue?”

  “I...arrrggghh.” I let out a frustrated sigh, looking up at Rebecca again. “I have no idea. It’s been so long, and we’ve been so out of touch. And he wants to move slow, which I understand and can appreciate. But it’s also so hard. I don’t know how to approach this situation. We have such a history.”

  “I think you need to talk to him then, Lillian. You’re not going to accomplish anything if you don’t communicate.”

  “Of course, but when would I talk to him?”

  Rebecca let out a sigh of frustration. “You have his number, you idiot. Just call him already!”

  I laughed at her remark. Leave it to Rebecca to see through everything have a direct solution.

  “That uh…you know, that just might be it.”

  “Duh, now please, go call him already. I can’t deal with him anymore.”

  I nodded before retreating to my bedroom. I pulled out my phone and sat down on the bed as I scrolled through the contacts until I came upon Sebastian’s name. My heart was beating fast in my chest, like the wings of a hummingbird, and I wished that I might calm myself.

  My finger pressed the call button, although reluctantly, but willingly. And then I raised the phone to my ear, and my heart felt like it beat even faster.

  I don’t think it rang twice before there was a click and Sebastian’s slightly groggy voice came across the line. “Hello, Lillian?”

  “Oh, did I wake you up?” I asked, feeling bad about calling now.

  “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have been napping
anyways. What’s up?”

  “I wanted to talk to you. About stuff that happened earlier. I—I feel confused, and I want to know…where…I guess where you want to go with things. What we’re doing, what we are now...”

  I trailed off; I felt small and powerless. I’d wished that the world would ease my fears, that maybe Sebastian would chime in and give his answer, possibly a solution of all of this. But a hidden part of me wished that he wouldn’t so that there might be room for other people in my heart.

  “Of course, Lily. I wanted to talk about what happened earlier too, but I think that’s something we should do in person, and it’s too late tonight for that.”

  “Okay.” I tried to feel disappointed, but I couldn’t help but notice the slivers of anxiety that crept in uninvited.

  “I know that voice. Lily, don’t worry. It’s nothing bad. I just want to look into your beautiful eyes when I tell you exactly what I want to do with you.” The words were low, and they made me shiver with desire. “Does breakfast work for you?”

  “That sounds lovely.”

  “Okay, nine at the creperie nearest to your apartment then; you know where that is?”

  “Of course.” The creperie was a favorite for Rebecca and me. We got breakfast there all time. And I guessed now that Sebastian must’ve been the one who introduced it to Rebecca.

  “I’ll see you then. Goodnight, Lily.”

  I shivered once again as I hung up, wondering if there was more implication in his words: if we would go back to his place and continue where we left things off. My body was throbbing now at the thought of it all. And heat rushed through me as I remembered his delightfully dominant kisses—then I thought of Ash making me cum beside the river. Why did life have to throw two amazing bachelors at me at once? Was it just some cruel joke?

  I didn’t want to finish off anyone’s job of pleasuring myself because I knew it would make everything so much better in the end. So I went to bed that night thinking of Sebastian, of Ash, and what I was going to do. I decided I wouldn’t think so hard. What’s meant to be, will be.

  12. (Lillian)

  When I woke up the next morning, after a good stretch and a yawn, I looked over my shoulder to my alarm clock. It took a minute for the panic to set in as I noticed the time. Ten. A lovely time to wake up on a Sunday morning…except, didn’t I have plans?

  I looked down at my phone and noticed the missed calls. Five, all from Sebastian. Then I text that read: I’m guessing you slept in; let me know when you wake up.

  Dammit!

  I had completely forgotten to set an alarm last night. I stood Sebastian up, and I felt terrible, albeit not on purpose. I took a deep breath and called him back.

  “Lillian, I was wondering when you’d wake up,” Sebastian answered before the first ring was even over. “Did you have a nice rest?”

  “I’m so sorry—” I said, but he cut me off.

  “No, don’t apologize. I’m glad you got some sleep. If you’re still up for it, I can have my driver pick you up.”

  “That would be great.”

  “Alright. He’ll be over to pick you up in ten minutes; is that fine?”

  “Yeah, that’s great.”

  Then he hung up, and I was immediately put back into panic mode. Ten minutes? Seriously? That was not enough time to get ready, especially if I was to meet with Sebastian.

  I flew about in a frenzy, pulling on the first thing I saw to wear, running a brush through my hair, putting on deodorant, brushing my teeth, and washing my face, all at what seemed to be at the same time. But it was not enough. I had to settle for a little bit of blush for makeup as the driver knocked on the door and I was forced to be okay with whatever I looked like at the moment. I grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys, flung the door open, panting in a hurry, trying my best to hold myself together.

  “Are you Miss Lillian?” the driver asked, a tall, dark man in a pristine suit with a smooth voice.

  I nodded. He then showed me to an expensive-looking black car.

  “If you’ll just sit in the back, miss, there are a few places Mr. Léon wanted me take you before we go to brunch.”

  “Of course,” I replied, sliding into the car.

  There interior was cream leather. I buckled myself in and looked around in a bit of confusion. Where would Sebastian want the driver to take me? And why? Luckily, my questions were answered when we pulled up in front of a very expensive-looking boutique. It was one of those stores with no items of clothing in the front, just a fancy and minimalist seating area with vases full of fresh bouquets of flowers. I knew I definitely couldn’t afford anything there. Was Sebastian buying me clothes again?

  “This way, miss.” The driver opened the door for me, ushering me inside the building.

  There, several women, dressed impeccably in dainty jewelry and pristine white clothes that matched the furniture, smiled at me and led me to sit on the couch. They all looked over me for a moment, whispering amongst themselves.

  Then two of them went to the back room while the third said, “You must be Mrs. Léon.”

  My heart skipped a beat at the name, “Uh. Oh. No. I’m not, we’re not—”

  The driver stepped in front. “This is Lillian Jade, Mr. Léon’s friend.”

  “Don’t worry, darling; he’ll fall for you when we’re done with you.”

  The other two women returned then, carrying a selection of clothing options, including, I noticed, some lacy lingerie.

  “Try these on first,” one of the women said, handing me a skirt as light as the clouds and a silk blouse as flowing as water.

  I nodded and headed into one of the spacious changing rooms. It was almost as big as the waiting area. I slipped the clothing on. They felt more expensive than anything I’d ever owned, almost like a second skin, they were so light. As I exited, the women looked me over again, making careful comments.

  “No,” the first one said, shaking her head. “She looks too much as if she’s about to go to work. Try the dress instead.”

  One of the two handed me a dress that I was sure must’ve been crafted from dreams before leading me back into the change room. As I looked in the mirror, I felt like this dress was the one. The dress reached my knees and fell around me like a waterfall but looked like a meadow full of wildflowers. The top was chiffon, while the skirt was made of fine tulle. It had silk flowers with pearls in their centers sewn into the dress, disappearing beneath the many layers and cascading down. It was as if I stepped out into a rain of flowers and they caught on my dress.

  From my limited experience in fashion, I was sure that this dress must’ve cost more than half a year’s salary based on the texture of the fabric and intricacies of the details. I stepped out of the change room feeling like a regal goddess. My steps were light like a ballet dancer. I was now feeling very pleased and softened by the beautiful clothing I was wearing. The women all gasped and then nodded approvingly at each other.

  “This one is perfect,” the first one said, then gesturing for the other two to hand me a lacy white bra and matching panties. “Wear these beneath it; then we’ll do your hair and makeup.”

  I did as I was told, no questions asked. I was too astounded by the dress to be defiant now. When I came back out with the undergarment underneath, one of the women sat me down in front of a mirror. With delicate touches, she set about wiping my face clean of the hastily applied blush and made my skin glow with whatever product she applied afterward.

  One of the others gently brushed through my hair and curled it. She pinned some of the locks up, framing my face just so, and added little pearl and flower ornaments to tie back the dress. The first woman came from the back room with a pair of stockings and delicate flats that looked like ballerina slippers. She kneeled in front of me and slipped them onto my feet, and I felt like a celebrity being tended to.

  She then proceeded to adorn my body with jewelry. My ears, my neck, my wrist: they were all decked out with delicate gold and pearl statement pie
ces. When I turned to look in the mirror, who I saw starring back at me took my breath away. I had never felt this beautiful before, never once in my whole life.

  My face glowed in such a way that I looked otherworldly, like a goddess descended onto Earth, awakening from a long slumber. I had no words for the moment; I could only nod at the women in acknowledgment of what they had done. They were miracle workers.

  “I think our work here is done,” the first woman said with a smile, and then I followed the driver out to the car, still feeling as if I were walking on cloud nine with every step.

  The world passed by in a blur, and I felt as if I were dreaming once again when we pulled up in front of a chic little Parisian-style café and the driver opened up my door.

  “He’s waiting inside, miss,” he said, gesturing to the set of double glass doors.

  With a deep breath, I stepped out of the vehicle, feeling all eyes flit to me like moths to a flame. I was aware of my every step, through the little courtyard in front of the café, then opening the double doors to enter a place full of warmth and light and the scent of pinecones and fall leaves.

  It took a second for me to find him; my gaze skimmed over everyone else. They seemed all insignificant. When I saw Sebastian, I didn’t know how I hadn’t seen him through the glass the moment the car pulled up. He shined as bright as a flame, in a pressed suit; his expression was one of awe and pleasure as he saw me and took me in.

  He stood up from where he was sitting at the table for two with two plates piled high with crepes and fruit and powdered sugar. There were two cups of tea or coffee—I wasn’t quite sure which—though they were steaming hot. As I walked towards him, he seemed almost in a trance.

  “You’re more beautiful than I ever could have imagined,” he said as he reached out to me, gripping my hand gently between his own. “Let’s go eat something before I’m tempted to take you in front of all these people.”

  I shivered at his words and then joined him at the table. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was starving, and everything in front of me looked incredible.